I don’t want to scream because it’s not my personality and I don’t think it would help anyway. I want to sleep. Sleep for days until the feeling is gone. I need a time out or I’ll explode.
I hate this feeling. I hate that drama never ends. I hate that I’m always insecure. I hate that I am easily affected by circumstances, dreams, paranoia, the past that keeps on coming back in my vision, the what if’s, over thinking and… everything nonsense. I hate that I am crying for no apparent reason. Or maybe there is a reason. It’s just that denial is flooding my whole being as of the moment. I hate that I feel like I’m not a normal person.
If I try to explain, I would only fail to make you understand. So I’ll just save it. I’m scared that I might be the only one who feel this way. I just want to be home with Ma and Pa. And I’m sorry for writing all these but it’s the only way I know to save my self from breaking apart. Now, that’s weird!
Life has so many questions, we really cannot have all the answers. Suck it or die. There are days that I just want to disappear. This is one of those days.