I am just sad and disappointment by how people, who are the closest to my heart, reacted when I was in considerable need. The people you count on the most turned out to be the people who showed no care. That’s what I felt, and it breaks my heart a little. No, it breaks my heart big time!
What hurts the most is that they know that I need them so bad, but it looks like I have to wait for my turn to urge them to show care. Pathetic, I know! But, what do I expect? It’s me who needs the favor. But that shouldn’t be our state, they’re my personal knights. They are the people I should be running to first-hand.
What had happened? It’s like I’m burning in front of them, the water pressure in their hands, they can put me out of fire any minute, and save me from death but preferred to procrastinate because it pleasures them to see me crying out for help.
You gave your word, I trusted it, but it seems that the only thing clear to me now is I can’t rely on words you have spoken, and will speak. This is the result of the countless chances and situation you left me hanging when you said you got my back.
This is making me bitter. When it’s your turn to need me, I promise that I will not turn my back on you. Instead, I will put my feet inside your shoes so I can feel the urgency you are feeling in the moment. I will do that because I don’t want to end up unreliable like you. Because I don’t want to be the reason why people, especially the ones dear to me acquire trust issues.