* I hate to post this but I’m doing it anyway. What I’m feeling now is part of this journey too so please forgive me if you’re reading this.
You cannot get everything you want in a snap, just because you’re passionate, you’re dedicated and you’re a genius, yeah it’s part of reaching your dreams but these adjectives alone? How about NO?!
Fu*k the movies. Welcome to reality. You need money. No sh*t.
That post where I said I resigned from my work because I want to travel the world? We’ll guess what? I’m travelling! Yey! I’m in a ship right now… going home. How exciting! The girl who’s the most ambitious girl alive is going home nothing. What was I thinking when I handed my resignation letter to my boss? Ok, I’m not regretting anything here. In fact I’m so over it. This decision is quite hard for me to do, oh pride! I don’t need it so I’m swallowing it.
THE PLAN ( aka How it’s supposed to be )
- Quit job
- Talk to parents about the travelling thing
- Arrange my papers
- Fly away
Well planned, well written until the only thing that worked out was number 1. Hahaha. I didn’t see that coming, guess that’s because of the excitement. Now I’m like ‘Hey have you ever heard of stuffs like Plan B, Plan C, D to Z.’ Funny ain’t it? Well that’s reality sometimes you’re stupid, sometimes your a loser. Hahaha seriously, I don’t wanna feel like a loser about going home simply because I am not. I’ve finished college and that is quite an achievement right? Right? Please say Yes.
It just sucks when things didn’t turn out the way you planned it. Again, reality! Things are never easy, or maybe I’m too young for this. Or maybe, I haven’t learned that one lesson I need to survive on my ‘world tour.’
I’m not bitter, actually I’m better! Other people have it a lot worse and compare to some of them this is not even a problem. In general, I look failure as a phase. Papa said when you start to realize that you’re an innocent, you’re starting to grow up. I think I’m growing up. Things are just happening when you’re not ready, and they’re fast, it takes us by surprise. All the time. Sometimes I see life as one big party but mostly life’s a b*tch. And I am not going down without a fight.
This going home thing, doesn’t make you a loser, it could mean that you fell but you’re getting up. So that’s what Im doing, I’m rising up, back to basics, start off to where I’m from. I have to master this so I could move on.The plan is still on going, I just need a few steps backwards so I could run faster.
“Thy will be done.” – Matthew 26:42